Annoyed

I am over worked. I'm burned out. I'm irritable, and sick, and need a vacation. You'd think that three months of summer vacation and not working would be enough of a break. Yeaaaah. Teaching kids is a lot of work. They're exhausting, and emotionally trying and so stressful. Despite all that, I do love my job. Most days. I'm forcing rhythm down their throats. They need it. They are also getting structure. They're resistant to learning, and I don't care. I don't care if I have to continue to force it down their throats. It's good for them. They don't put any effort into what they do, they don't practice. It's very frustrating, but I'm not backing down. There is no reason they can't play the music I've picked out. Absolutely no reason. It's not something they could immediately play. They actually need to work on it.

I've been doing some crafting lately. I think part of the reason I feel so terrible might be because I haven't done much for me. I do and do and do for others, which is fine. I love being part of the church and I love teaching kids after school, but at some point I need to do for me. I've been going to bed early. However, going to bed early doesn't do much when I have vivid nightmares every night. I'm sick of being told to just think happy thoughts, or try to reverse the way it goes. I think happy thoughts. I think of sunshine and rainbows all I want, but it doesn't do anything. How can I reverse the way it goes when my dreams are NEVER the same. I don't have a recurring dream. The themes recur. It's annoying. I get chased or spiders attack me or I'm in the middle of a forest on a winding dirt road trying to get away from this house and this car comes careening after me trying to hit me and I can't seem to get away. I'm sick of them, but too broke to do anything about it. So for now, I'll deal with going to bed early, and feeling like I get no sleep.

You know what I want to make? http://www.etsy.com/shop/katwise?ref=pr_shop_more

One of those coats. I don't care that it's called an elf coat. I want one. I want to know how she makes them. They're gorgeous and fun, and all recycled.

Okay. I'm going to go be annoyed.