If only...

I had a music league meeting tonight. It's a 2 hr drive there and back, which makes it a really long day for me. I ride up with one of my colleagues, and it's always good to talk about what we're doing in our classrooms. We were talking about state mandated tests (which are probably going to become a reality for us soon) and how the questions just aren't applicable for today's students. Here are what we came up with:

1. Gage has 4 moms and 1 dad. How many grandparents does he have?

2. Kylie's parents are divorced. If she spends 3 months in Denver with her Dad, and 9 months in (insert small town here), what percentage of the year is she in Denver?

3. Please use the words 'YEah!' and 'wHat?!' in two separate sentences.

4. Eminem has 16 albums (including compilations) out, with each album having at least 6 songs. If Eminem uses the f word in each song at least 6 times, what is the MINIMUM amount of times he uses the f word?

5. What is the least amount of characters you can use to convey the following message: I have to go eat dinner now. I'll be right back. Talk to you later?

6. Keegan does not have unlimited texting. If Keegan's cellphone plan charges .15 per text message RECEIVED, and .25 for every text message SENT, how much will he be paying if he receives 135 texts and sends 242?

7. Ryley got a job at the local restaurant. He is 13, and his boss said he was only hired because he wasn't in sports or band. Riley joined band, and one of the requirements is being present at contests, concerts and competitions. Can his boss fire him?

8. Trystyn is 12 and weighs 140 pounds. Her doctor said if she walks 2 miles a day, she will lose 3 pounds per week if she doesn't change her diet. If she changes her diet and eats right, she will lose 5 pounds per week. If she changes her diet for every month but December, how many pounds will she lose?

9. Mrs. Smith has 8 foster kids, and 2 kids that are biological. They live in a 4 bedroom trailer house. The state pays her $150 a month for every foster kid. How much money does Mrs. Smith make off of those children?

10. Jordyn's school pays him $1 per correct answer on his test, with an added bonus of $50 if he gets an A, and $25 if he gets a B. Jordyn's test had 30 questions on it. Jordyn got an 83%, which is a B. How much did Jordyn's school pay him?

Some of these really should be on tests. :)