Lost

Days (and nights) like the ones I've been having this lately make me feel like I should go back on that medication. The nightmares are back, which make me tired, which amplifies everything I feel. I'm okay as long as I have something very specific to be doing. Teaching, training, riding, honestly just being near the horses, but definitely not anything where my mind can wander. I had a couple of those amazing episodes last week where I was so hyper I couldn't contain myself. I'd love to be able to blame it on caffeine but I only really had any this weekend. The nightmares are just killing any chance at a decent night's sleep. I've been doing really well. Surprisingly well. I know the season doesn't help, stress doesn't help. But last year was more stressful and I didn't get this bad. I just want it to go away.